So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
