You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
