i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
