I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize