you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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