a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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