i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
