Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
