I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
