Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
They took my balls.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
