Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
