Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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