I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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