I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
