Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
