i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
