I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
North Korea, Best Korea!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
