Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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