once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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