2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You've changed since you got that strap on
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
