Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize