if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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