Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she was so not down for the gang bang
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
