At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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