on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
