my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
home. puking in laundry basket.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
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I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
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Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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