how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
