We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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