Dual....:-)
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
