Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
COCAINE IS GR8
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
