This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
