I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
