My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
