Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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