I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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