So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
please come you make the beer taste better
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
