He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
