jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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