pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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