Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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