Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
