Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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