I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Randomize
