There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
