i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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