Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
her vagine was all disorganized.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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