Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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