is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
