if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
