she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
