i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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