oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
