Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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