we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
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He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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