her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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