why didn't you poke me back
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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