I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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