How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
