idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
