I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize