You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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