Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Randomize
