Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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