I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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