Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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