if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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